Editorials
Remembrance as farewell
Dying is part of life
November 21, 2008
He stood by the grave. It was bare, apart from the spruce boughs which covered it and a small autumn bouquet in the middle. This final resting place was not adorned with the colorful blooming splendor of flowers as in the summer, but rather a layer of green spruce boughs and a single autumn arrangement in the middle, which was also to see it through the winter. All the neighboring graves already had monuments: memories engraved in stone of persons who no longer live. A name, the dates of birth and of death, and sometimes an angel or an open book, a quotation from the Bible or a symbol of the trade exercised by the deceased person. This grave, however, still has a plain wooden cross that had been planted shortly after the burial. The same information, but the wound is too fresh for it to be carved in stone.
Some people tell him that they come to the grave to speak to persons they miss. Over the past few months he has realized that a grave is an important place. A place for saying farewell, a place to mourn. He also realized that grieving has a different complexion for different people. He doesn't need this grave in order to remember. For the person who passed away, the present is elsewhere, but this place is necessary in order to find peace and seek inspiration about life. In summertime this is easy; when blossoming flowers remind of heartwarming laughter and buzzing insects echo the bustle of life. But now it is November and the grave is ready for winter, silent, almost dead. Yet, it knows that come next spring, it will once again bloom.
On Eternity Sunday, which falls on the last Sunday of the church year, those who passed away in the course of the year are remembered. In most worship services the names of the congregation's deceased are read out. The silence of these days and the remembrance of those who no longer live are a part of the yearly cycle and of life. They recall that death is part of life. They counter the inclination to deny death. This time also calls for renewed reflection about how to accompany the dying.
Human dignity does not cease with death and dying. "I have called you by name, you are mine." (Isa 43:1) Eternity Sunday can help remind us of this. Those who have died are mentioned by name. Loved ones are specifically invited to worship. The graves of the deceased are specially adorned. Death and life are inextricably intertwined. Both are part of human dignity.